I've been walking the coastal paths around North Berwick a lot this year. The dog likes it. So do I, mostly for the view.
Following the path east, towards Drift, it meets the green of the 13th hole and suddenly the water is right there. The Bass sits offshore. And beside the path, somebody has put a feather on a rock.
It's steel, polished, stretched long and thin. There's a little wooden sign nearby with a QR code if you want the story behind it.
I've found myself thinking about that feather quite a lot.
The scars we chose
Because Covid left scars all over North Berwick. But almost all of ours came with some element of choice.
Someone proposed pedestrianising the town centre. People objected, and it didn't happen. Market Place became one-way as an emergency measure. Later, a committee looked at it again and decided to keep it. A beer garden appeared in a car park because a business was trying to survive. It is still there now, on a five-year approval.
Even some of the more difficult changes are made up of human decisions: holiday lets, soaring house prices, the pressure of visitors, the parking scheme we're still fighting about. Messy ones, sometimes unfair ones, but decisions nonetheless.
They can be challenged. Reversed. Extended. Voted on. Written about. We get to negotiate with the things our pandemic left behind.
And then there is the feather
Of all North Berwick's Covid scars, this one was deliberately created to mean something. A bird was chosen because flight can suggest continuity: the idea that someone you have lost has not entirely disappeared.
It's a lovely thought.
And then, a couple of hundred yards offshore, there are the actual birds.
In 2022, avian flu tore through the Bass Rock gannet colony. In one season, something like a third of its adults died.
The survivors did not get a sculpture.
Some of them got black eyes.
Not metaphorically. The pale blue eyes that appear on postcards, photographs and tea towels around town physically changed. Researchers now think that, in at least some birds, the blackening is evidence of damage left behind by the infection: tissue lost, cells disrupted, inflammation inside the eye.
One of the badly affected birds examined was blind.
Nobody voted on that. There was no consultation. No temporary order. No five-year extension.
The birds survived, or they didn't. And some of the ones that survived carried the evidence with them.
Two memorials, almost within sight of each other
That, I think, is the strange thing about these two Covid memorials sitting almost within sight of each other. One is steel. The other is still healing, or not, in the eyes of birds most of us never look closely at.
We chose a bird to represent resilience and continuity at almost exactly the moment the actual birds offshore were discovering how brutally limited both can be.
The metaphor and the reality were happening a few hundred yards apart. Only one of them came with an interpretation board.
What I'm not arguing
I don't think that means anyone made a bad choice.
Human grief and the collapse of a seabird colony are not equivalent, and pretending they are would cheapen both. People in North Berwick lost parents, partners, friends and years of ordinary life. A memorial to that deserves to exist on its own terms.
Nor am I arguing that the gannets need a matching plaque.
The point is narrower than that. We chose how to remember what happened to us. We discussed which emergency changes to keep. We removed some and made others permanent. We built a memorial and chose what it would mean. Four years later, we're still negotiating the consequences of that strange period in everything from streets to businesses to parking.
Bass Rock never got any of those choices. Its pandemic is recorded in missing nest sites, in a colony still smaller than it was, and perhaps most strikingly of all, in the eyes of the birds that lived through it.
Next time you walk the path
And maybe that is worth noticing, precisely because the feather is there.
Stop for a moment beside it. Then look past it, out to the rock. The gannets are still there too: most apparently fine, some carrying scars we are only beginning to understand.
We got to choose how we'd remember our pandemic. They never got a say in theirs, and they're still living with it.